Forgiveness

This word is extremely powerful. In fact, it's much easier to say then to do. I am guilty of this. In fact, times I think I say I forgive you but not actually meaning it, because a part of me is still holding on to the hurt. This past weekend, I was released from my unforgiving attitude. It had been two years since I was hurt VERY badly that I forgot what it was like to have an honest friend. I know that the Lord brought me here to Lomita, to attend this women's retreat, to let go of that forgiveness that I was gripping to and to bring me HONEST friends who I know that will not harm me, but help me.
The speaker was phenomenal. Gayelee Reynolds, 51, youth pastor, friend. When she speaks, she speaks Jesus. All weekend, I had kept telling God, "I don't want to leave here the same. I want to leave different" and although I had a few jewels and gems from the weekend, I didn't have that "moment" where I felt different. Until Sunday morning, the last session. The Spirit was moving so heavily and Gayelee said the word, "Forgiveness" and I knew that was meant for me. She had us open our prayer journals, (which I cherish!) and write a letter to that person who has hurt us or to someone that we needed to mend our attitude towards. The moment I wrote "Dear Amanda, I forgive you." I began to weep uncontrollably and I knew that was it. It was gone. I meant it. I know that the burden that I was carrying, the anger that I was carrying, was gone. I felt so free!!! I know that was the "difference" I needed.

I was so blessed this past weekend and I am a new creation!! I no longer need to have a spirit of un-forgiveness in me. It's gone. Jesus took it all and for that I am eternally grateful!!!