Not just any dream

I love when I have moments where God reveals His plan to me. I absolutely love being in Lomita and in my church. I feel like this is where God has wanted me all along, and Tuesday night, it was confirmed.

I was in our weekly prayer night and I was agreeing in prayer with those around me, when I glanced up and I opened my eyes. Suddenly I was staring at the cross on the wall and out of my peripheral vision, I realized that I had been here before and that I had this dream. I could see all the people that were in my peripheral view. The one thing I remember from the dream, was that there was a little dark headed girl sitting next to me, and then I looked down and saw Esther, a sweet little dark headed girl, sitting next to me. That was it. That was when I knew that 4 years ago, when I had the dream, the Lord was showing me my future, that I would be here, in this spot, with these people and Esther. The awesome thing is, Esther is only 4 years old.

Now, I am as stubborn as they come, but even I can't deny that I am RIGHT where God wants me.

I have no reason to doubt that Man again!!!

Monday Mints and Menchies

I love Monday's. Although today is Tuesday, I still love Monday's. Mainly because it is my day off and I have no alarm to wake up to, no reason to do anything and I can stay in my jammies all day, if my heart so desires. Which it usually doesn't, it lasts until about 11 and then I have to shower and get dressed. My Monday was nice yesterday. I kissed my paycheck goodbye through grocery shopping and paying rent and then my afternoon was brightened with a trip to a new yogurt place, "Menchies", with my friend Melissa and her adorable kids! You walk in and they great you with a HUGE smile and the option to add a freshly made waffle cone to your yogurt! When you exit, they say, "Have a smiley day" Thank you, Menchies, I will! It completely hit the spot and I would recommend it to any of my friends, even over Yogurtland!! (Sorry to my Yogurtland readers)
I wrapped up the night heading to Long Beach to have dinner with a friend who I haven't seen in over a year and she came to town to visit family. However, I thought for sure that my Menchies would be enough munchies and hold me over until dinner. Then I got to the restaurant and the hunger pains increased. So when the hostess went to seat guests, I helped myself to some of the mints. Bad move. Not only did I feel guilty for taking the mints, but my mouth tasted like Pepto Bismol and so did my food. Lesson in all of this?? Take crackers, because you never know how long the wait will be.

Do you trust me??

One of my favorite movies is Disney's Aladdin. There is a scene, where Aladdin meets the street version of Jasmine and he say's to her, "Do you trust me?" and as we all know, later in the movie when he is Prince Ali, he appears on his flying carpet and says to her again, "Do you trust me?" Of course, that is the moment that Jasmine begins to realize who he really is and we all know they live happily ever after.
Sometimes it's frustrating being a pastor and knowing that there are so many people that are doing all they can to defy God and the plan that He has for their life. With out a doubt, they are called to bigger and better and yet they choose to be content with their life and say, "This is it. I know that God can't use me anywhere, so I'm going to go ahead and stay here" Seriously?? You think that God wants you to be miserable and to settle?? I don't think so! I know the God that I serve wouldn't want you to just be content with life. He wants you to be more than you are, to be His servant and to TRUST HIM!!! He has come to you more than once and said, "Do you trust me?" and now it's time for you to take his hand and say, "Yes, I trust you". Follow Him. He won't steer you wrong. His plan is not your plan, but His plan is PERFECT! TRUST HIM!!

Forgiveness

This word is extremely powerful. In fact, it's much easier to say then to do. I am guilty of this. In fact, times I think I say I forgive you but not actually meaning it, because a part of me is still holding on to the hurt. This past weekend, I was released from my unforgiving attitude. It had been two years since I was hurt VERY badly that I forgot what it was like to have an honest friend. I know that the Lord brought me here to Lomita, to attend this women's retreat, to let go of that forgiveness that I was gripping to and to bring me HONEST friends who I know that will not harm me, but help me.
The speaker was phenomenal. Gayelee Reynolds, 51, youth pastor, friend. When she speaks, she speaks Jesus. All weekend, I had kept telling God, "I don't want to leave here the same. I want to leave different" and although I had a few jewels and gems from the weekend, I didn't have that "moment" where I felt different. Until Sunday morning, the last session. The Spirit was moving so heavily and Gayelee said the word, "Forgiveness" and I knew that was meant for me. She had us open our prayer journals, (which I cherish!) and write a letter to that person who has hurt us or to someone that we needed to mend our attitude towards. The moment I wrote "Dear Amanda, I forgive you." I began to weep uncontrollably and I knew that was it. It was gone. I meant it. I know that the burden that I was carrying, the anger that I was carrying, was gone. I felt so free!!! I know that was the "difference" I needed.

I was so blessed this past weekend and I am a new creation!! I no longer need to have a spirit of un-forgiveness in me. It's gone. Jesus took it all and for that I am eternally grateful!!!

God. Guarding. Gavin.

It was two weeks ago, and I was in Target looking at Christmas trees. I was wearing my Fresno State sweatshirt and Gavin was standing next to me. He kept glancing over and finally he said, "Hi" and of course I was taken aback. And I said, "hi, how are you?" To make the story short, he use to live in Madera and he asked if I was a FSU fan and then I told him that I was from Hanford and moved here a few months ago. (reader background, he works for the US Coast Guard) So we got done talking and he asked if he could have my number. Before I even got to the checkout, he had text me and said, "hope you have a great meeting and it was nice meeting you.". We started texting almost everyday and then we started talking on the phone. We went out last Thursday night, to Joe's Crab Shack and a movie. It was fun and he's a super guy.
Anyway, we went out Monday to Santa Monica Pier and it was there, that I looked over and the Lord told me, "You're capable of loving, it's just not him". For almost two years, I have felt that my heart was so broken over past relationships that I couldn't love someone again. Anyway, we were walking along the pier and he held my hand and I looked at it and it didn't fit. It felt "uncomfortable" and it was at that moment that the Lord spoke to me. So when he walked me back to my car, I told Gavin that I was at a point in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship and that I really needed to focus on my ministry. As I was driving home, the Lord reminded me of something that I had written in my prayer journal YEARS ago, things that I had never expressed to anyone, until now. And they were that when I meet my husband, we will have "comfortable" silence and that when we hold hands, our hands will fit. When I got home, sure enough, there it was. And I knew that the Lord had spared me from my heart being broken.

We talked on the phone last night and I told him everything and he was wowed that I was so obedient to the Lord and he said, "you do realize that makes me like you more"... I just laughed and said, "Take it up with Jesus."

So that's it, readers. I'm still single, happily I might add, and I know that God has my Mister out there for me. I just need to remember the promises He gave me and to continue to guard my heart.

Country Girl, City Life.

I have been in LA for 4 months and I don't think that I officially appreciated it until last night.
I had the pleasure of attending world renowned, Australia group,Hillsong Live with some fellow friends and as we were driving into the city, the sky illuminated by the skyscrapers, it was then that I realized, I live here. This country girl is now a city girl and I love it.

What topped it off was being in the Nokia Theater with over 7,000 other Jesus lovers and worshiping Him. The most amazing moment was when Hillsong stopped playing and it was just the crowd, voices and hands raised to worship our Lord. There is nothing like the sound of others singing along with you and imagining the Lord and His angels rejoicing at the sound. (Although I do apologize to those around me, the Lord said make a joyful noise, not a good one). As we were driving home, 30 minutes, versus my previous 3-4 hours, I sat in the car and reflected on my life and how truly blessed I am. The theme of the night, was God is Able. And that, He is. He is able to take this born and raised country girl, place her in the city at a church on the corner of 255th and Oak and use her how she never thought possible. Don't EVER doubt where God is taking you or what He wants to do with you. Our timing is not God's timing, but His timing is PERFECT!!!

Real Housewives of South Bay...

I love birthday's. I think majority of it is because it's the day that my friends were born and my life got that much better. On Monday, I had a 1st birthday. My first ever "adult" birthday party. And by adult, I mean a grown-up, sit at the table, laugh, talk, and enjoying all the best breakfast items a person could imagine. It was one of the best birthday's that I had and it wasn't even mine. It was for a new friend, Melissa, who I met a few month's ago, when I moved to Lomita, (blog that soon!). When I walked into the house and saw that the table was only set for 4 people, my heart started to race a little. "Great, I'm not going to know anyone here". And it was true. I only knew the birthday girl, Melissa. But when Erin and Helen walked in the door, I felt an instant connection. As we sat at the table, set with the most beautiful dishes and centerpiece, I sat back and took it all in. For the first time in my 29 years, I felt like an adult. Usually the birthday party's I'm invited too are for kids, which is appropriate since I'm a Children's Pastor, or they are for my younger friends who's idea of a party is drinking as much as they can and making me uncomfortable. So there I was, talking to Helen about her first time mommy hood, and Erin busy with her daughter's ballet performance in the Nutcracker, I begin to smile. This is what I have wanted my entire life. A friend who I can be an adult with, who I can have grown-up conversations with, and turn off my 'Pastor mode' and just be Rachel. It's been two days and I am still in 'birthday heaven'. I am excited for November 21, 2012 so we can do it all over again!!