God. Guarding. Gavin.

It was two weeks ago, and I was in Target looking at Christmas trees. I was wearing my Fresno State sweatshirt and Gavin was standing next to me. He kept glancing over and finally he said, "Hi" and of course I was taken aback. And I said, "hi, how are you?" To make the story short, he use to live in Madera and he asked if I was a FSU fan and then I told him that I was from Hanford and moved here a few months ago. (reader background, he works for the US Coast Guard) So we got done talking and he asked if he could have my number. Before I even got to the checkout, he had text me and said, "hope you have a great meeting and it was nice meeting you.". We started texting almost everyday and then we started talking on the phone. We went out last Thursday night, to Joe's Crab Shack and a movie. It was fun and he's a super guy.
Anyway, we went out Monday to Santa Monica Pier and it was there, that I looked over and the Lord told me, "You're capable of loving, it's just not him". For almost two years, I have felt that my heart was so broken over past relationships that I couldn't love someone again. Anyway, we were walking along the pier and he held my hand and I looked at it and it didn't fit. It felt "uncomfortable" and it was at that moment that the Lord spoke to me. So when he walked me back to my car, I told Gavin that I was at a point in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship and that I really needed to focus on my ministry. As I was driving home, the Lord reminded me of something that I had written in my prayer journal YEARS ago, things that I had never expressed to anyone, until now. And they were that when I meet my husband, we will have "comfortable" silence and that when we hold hands, our hands will fit. When I got home, sure enough, there it was. And I knew that the Lord had spared me from my heart being broken.

We talked on the phone last night and I told him everything and he was wowed that I was so obedient to the Lord and he said, "you do realize that makes me like you more"... I just laughed and said, "Take it up with Jesus."

So that's it, readers. I'm still single, happily I might add, and I know that God has my Mister out there for me. I just need to remember the promises He gave me and to continue to guard my heart.

Country Girl, City Life.

I have been in LA for 4 months and I don't think that I officially appreciated it until last night.
I had the pleasure of attending world renowned, Australia group,Hillsong Live with some fellow friends and as we were driving into the city, the sky illuminated by the skyscrapers, it was then that I realized, I live here. This country girl is now a city girl and I love it.

What topped it off was being in the Nokia Theater with over 7,000 other Jesus lovers and worshiping Him. The most amazing moment was when Hillsong stopped playing and it was just the crowd, voices and hands raised to worship our Lord. There is nothing like the sound of others singing along with you and imagining the Lord and His angels rejoicing at the sound. (Although I do apologize to those around me, the Lord said make a joyful noise, not a good one). As we were driving home, 30 minutes, versus my previous 3-4 hours, I sat in the car and reflected on my life and how truly blessed I am. The theme of the night, was God is Able. And that, He is. He is able to take this born and raised country girl, place her in the city at a church on the corner of 255th and Oak and use her how she never thought possible. Don't EVER doubt where God is taking you or what He wants to do with you. Our timing is not God's timing, but His timing is PERFECT!!!

Real Housewives of South Bay...

I love birthday's. I think majority of it is because it's the day that my friends were born and my life got that much better. On Monday, I had a 1st birthday. My first ever "adult" birthday party. And by adult, I mean a grown-up, sit at the table, laugh, talk, and enjoying all the best breakfast items a person could imagine. It was one of the best birthday's that I had and it wasn't even mine. It was for a new friend, Melissa, who I met a few month's ago, when I moved to Lomita, (blog that soon!). When I walked into the house and saw that the table was only set for 4 people, my heart started to race a little. "Great, I'm not going to know anyone here". And it was true. I only knew the birthday girl, Melissa. But when Erin and Helen walked in the door, I felt an instant connection. As we sat at the table, set with the most beautiful dishes and centerpiece, I sat back and took it all in. For the first time in my 29 years, I felt like an adult. Usually the birthday party's I'm invited too are for kids, which is appropriate since I'm a Children's Pastor, or they are for my younger friends who's idea of a party is drinking as much as they can and making me uncomfortable. So there I was, talking to Helen about her first time mommy hood, and Erin busy with her daughter's ballet performance in the Nutcracker, I begin to smile. This is what I have wanted my entire life. A friend who I can be an adult with, who I can have grown-up conversations with, and turn off my 'Pastor mode' and just be Rachel. It's been two days and I am still in 'birthday heaven'. I am excited for November 21, 2012 so we can do it all over again!!

Letting Go

It's amazing when you let go of a piece of your past, how the weight is lifted off your chest and suddenly you feel so free and relieved.
I thought I had gotten to the point where I "let go" of every guy in my life that I was once in love with or desiring. Until, JD came back into my life.
I didn't realize how much I wanted to be with him until he reappeared. We had met back in 2006 and he literally took my breath away. We started having a friendship and then we started going out more frequently. Then, in 2008, when I left for Argentina, we just quit talking. I don't know why, it just ended aprubtly. Then, thanks to a social networking site, he reappeared and we picked up where we left off. Only I found myself, head over heels in love with him. I see a pattern with me, do you??? We saw each other only 3 times when I realized that I was wasting my heart on him. So plain and simple, I told him, "I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body. I might not be your choice, but I am a great choice. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I'm proud of who I am today. Take me as I am or watch me as I go."
Needless to say, he has watched me as I went. And you know something, readers? I am relieved. I am carefree. I am happy.
I'm done waisting my time with men who don't want to be with me.
Out there is the man that God has created for me and I need to be ready and willing when he comes into my life.
Although I'm tired of tears and sitting on the sidelines, it's time to buck up, dry the tears and play the game. Not the game of relationships, marriage, babies, that'll come. I'm playing the game of LIFE. I'm going to enjoy each person I meet, I am going to enjoy each conflict I face. I'm going to enjoy the place where God has me. Life is TOO short to waste my heart on someone who doesn't deserve to have it.
It feels good when you admit, you have LET GO! :)

New Year...New You...Different Me

It's that time! A new year and each year, I am one of those lame people who makes a New Years Resolution and then in the last month of the year, I am trying to loose 45 pounds, go to Italy, win an Oscar and find my love. (Ok, so MAYBE I set my resolutions TOO high!) :) So this year, instead of giving myself resolutions, I just decided that I am going to face this year with a smile on my face and take it as it comes!
Yes, I have started eating healthier and exercising. I have cut all ties with any boy that I may have REMOTELY had ANY heart palpations for and I have committed myself to do the best with my life in the situations it has!!
I'm ready for 2011!!! Bring it!!! :)