Ever get that feeling???

That you made a choice you shouldn't have made??? That the decision you thought was right, in actuality was wrong??

That's what I'm feeling readers. I am at a crossroads in my life and it's awful. I am so beyond confused that it's crazy...

I do believe in God..with my whole heart and I know that He will guid me...but I'm suffering and I can't help but think that He would want better for me...

So as of now, I will stay where He has me...and I will go wherever He sends me....

Toss up a prayer for me :)

To you...Mr. High School..10 years later...

There is much behind the story---in a nutshell, I wanted to commit, he couldn't....so this was my e-mail to him.....

I want to go broke driving to see you. I want to miss you so much that it hurts. I want to rearrange my life with you. We'd be good together. You're organized. I'm cluttered. You're analytical, I'm spontaneous. You're honest, I'm whiny... But I'm willing to try and you're not and I am not going to change you or ask you to do something you don't want to do. I know we both have a stack of crap that is HUGE and the best thing to do is be friends. But I'm done. I can't. You want your space and I want you. This changes everything, I know and I'm sure tomorrow I'll regret sending this and wish I could hack into your computer and delete it, but it's what I feel now. If I can't be with you, I can't sit by and watch you with someone else and pretend to be happy for you. You bring out the best in me and I thank you for that. I wish things were different but they can't be because you're not ready. Don't respond, there's no need. Let me let you go. I don't regret the timing of our connecting, I'm just sorry we both are so screwed up that it can't work. You are an awesome guy! You took care of a complete stranger. You made me laugh when I felt I couldn't. You're a good man with a good heart. Timing just sucks. I wish you the best and who knows, maybe in 10 years, you can come to my 38th and toss a few back ;) have a great week. Thanks for your friendship. You rock! Best of luck--me

Forgive me readers..it's been two months since my last blog...

In the last two months, I've cried four times, had my heart broken (again) and I turned 28. Unreal I know..I'm so young ;)

Yesterday morning, I was chatting it up with my roomate and we were talking about our lives in the past year. It's amazing how life can change in 365 days..I never thought that I would still be single, or that my roommate would be pregnant...I never guessed that after 10 years, my high school crush would come back into my life and break my heart, within 2 days...I guess you just never know where life is going to take you. It's an adventure, right?? To be enjoyed..despite the ups and downs. The heartache and heartbreak..the getting older and finding wrinkles in places you don't want them..it's all adventure. Take it as one and enjoy every moment...I don't regret anything, because every choice has made me who I am.